Approach
High Conflict
High conflict relationships need an experienced mediator who can understand the hurt and frustration to reach amicable solutions and resolutions. Being able to reach prompt and timely resolution helps the family create structure and move forward with their lives. High-conflict parents present special challenges for mediators. For these parents, a more intensive intervention is often needed to help them maintain boundaries that protect their children from ongoing conflict.
At MJB, we manage the conflict and complexities and we also work in a very child-inclusive way, which embraces the need to assist parents who are in dispute after separation, and to refocus on and plan for the needs of their children.
There is no doubt that a hostile home environment for a child has considerable negative effects on the emotional development of the child, no matter what age. When parents are going through a divorce or separation, they will often think it’s the separation that is causing the most damage, however it is actually the nature of the separation and conflict involved that causes issues for the children. Regardless of what your separation or divorce looks like it is so important to remain child focused. We know that minimising conflict is key to helping children and parents survive what can be an emotionally traumatic time.
Essentially this involves resolving conflict for separating and divorcing families. The voice of the child is crucial to the understanding and making of decisions based on the child’s experiences and developmental needs. This, in turn, guides families towards ways to resolve their differences and move forward, with the best interests of the children in mind; which is at the very heart of my practice.
When you are in the midst of conflict it can be difficult to remember that in many ways your children are also going through turmoil. Our goal is to help you focus on the needs and the best interests of your children while you negotiate through this challenging time.
What to think about
Before you get into any discussion about mediation there are a few things that it helps to think about. Ask yourself, ‘what is important to me and what outcome am I hoping for?’ : ‘What outcome might the other party be seeking?’ ; ‘What is my best case scenario, my worst case scenario and what can I live with?; ‘ What risks do I face if we can’t settle?’ ; ‘What are the risks for the other party if we can’t settle?’; ‘Is court a realistic alternative if we can’t agree?’; ‘Am I emotionally ready for mediation?’; “Is the other party ready?’. Consider your responses to these questions and other scenarios you might possibly encounter. Be thoughtful and don’t be too hard on yourself or others. This can be a tough time for all concerned.
“Mikadie assisted in my resolution with my ex-partner. During a stressful time, the in-depth knowledge and understanding she displayed was both very professional and extremely beneficial to those parties involved. I would have no hesitation in recommending her services to anyone in a similar situation…”
— Anthony D